Getting Cultured.

Today was a day spent at the cultural center-getting cultured, I guess. *sigh* *joking* OK. Enough with my jokes. Even if it brings me joy to bring smiles upon others.
Honestly, I love going to cultural center. This trip was my third time visiting; how blessed we all are to live in a city that has so many venues, museums, etc to see. Truly, this is one of the best cities in the country to live in and gain knowledge and experience! I implore y'all to take advantage of these wonderful opportunities.
The cultural center trip was quite interesting. Visiting the Morbid Curiosity exhibit, more specifically evoked perplexing questions and just overarching thoughts, why? Human fascination with death has always astonished me. Perhaps, because myself, I am afraid of death. The unknown that awaits us after death is a bit of an unsettling feeling to have; everything that we know, this materialistic world that we surround ourselves with, will be gone. Even if you don't consider yourself materialistic what about you, yourself-the body that physically surrounds us? This exterior that we call muscle, skin, and bones-these are all a type of material that will eventually shed itself. To think that our feeling, emotional-psychological being will eventually separate itself form our material body is a rather frightening thought.
No matter how financially powerful, physically strong one may become, death will inevitably occur.

Isaac's piece specifically struck a cord in me, and it evoked all the ideas mentioned above. Isaac took a body in its (almost) raw form, and tried to evoke a feeling for the viewer. But, there's also a whole different prospective that starts to evolve within someone- a deeper meaning; the way in which the body is positioned, jets itself out to whoever is its audience, almost to engage in conversation with them. Hunched over, in it's armless, lifeless state does it start to tell a story of despair and pain. In some strange way, I started to have feelings for this lifeless form. So aptly titled, "Are You Still Mad At Me?" did I start having an intimate moment, where I felt remorse. Sounds a bit ridiculous, but I did have a moment of empathy, as if this person had died in vain.          

Cloudy Day

On days like these. I noticed myself listening to artist such as, Sia and RadioHead on a more frequent basis. Specifically albums like, In Rainbows and Colour The Small One, play on repeat. Both albums, though vastly different from one another, have some similarities. Both are impeccably written, and have interesting, inter-woven orchestral movements, which both are co-orchestrated by the artists themselves. Personally, I have deep, emotional feelings for both of these albums, because the lyrics played an interesting role in my life a few years ago. 

When I first came out of the closet, I was a lost soul. Struggling with seeking truth, and understanding of a culture I really don't know anything about, but it felt right. 

Identity was something that I didn't grasp. Actually, in all honesty, I didn't have much guidance as child. Like I have mentioned before, my mother often says, "I was robbed of my childhood". My father was an emotionally distanced individual. I didn't have that ideal father, son relationship with him-it just wasn't there. And, after my parents divorce, my mother struggled to find solid ground, because it had been ripped from underneath her. So, in many ways, she, herself was emotionally distanced at times. Not because she didn't love her children, but she had lost a part of her, (in some ways, she still has) which led to my sister and I to fight for ourselves. To grow and mature with the "deck of cards" that we had been dealt. And in some ways, we're still dealing with them, trying to pick up the cards that were dropped, left behind. Funny how families work, right? *chuckles*

 

My sister and I have different prospectives and approaches to life-the life that we've been handed, and are dealing with. I often refer to my sister as a kindred spirit. We're so vastly different, but have a deep understanding of one another. In many ways, we owe this understanding of one anther, to the history that we both share. Although from different prospectives, we've weathered through some of the same "storms". These storms were and still are essential for my growth, specifically, to who I am. 

 

So, I have to ask the question at hand. Who am I? Sounds like an awkward question to ask. But, who am I!? *pondering* Um. Well, to start. I am a gay, white male. My identity with being gay has been something less than to be desired. For years, I have exhausted myself into fitting a certain crowd. To identify myself with a certain type of people that would make me feel... Well, me! Through some very solid friendships, and therapy. I have exhausted myself from exhaustion! No more wasted time on conforming to a society that I don't feel comfortable with. As Bethany Frankle would say, "Come from a place of YES". The person that I know how to become, is to only become myself! That means to be honest, genuine, and forthright with others-to truly, and unconditionally love others! To observe how others interact with their counterparts: what's authentic and what's inauthentic, why?     

             

Mr. Paper Topic *smiles*

Here I am, sitting and typing at the last couple of hours left to turn in my blog. Ugh! *shaking head in disappointment* Enough about this rant...

While there are so many topics that I would enjoy talking about in further detail. One that rises above the rest is a cultural study of Drag Queens, and there purpose in gay community. Also including, as a umbrella-boys-town. And what it represents. What's its purpose in the gay community, and city of Chicago? Since I don't really identify with the gay community(personal synopsis). And, what I do know about the gay community, is a negative opinion. It will become informative to seek reasons, and other personal accounts of what the community means to them.

Since Drag Queens have quite a prominence in Boys-Town. I think that there role is apparent within the gay community. And I am debating about interviewing a couple friends of mine that are drag queens, along with a couple community involved individuals that I know. So, the resources I have are a bit endless.

I will saturate myself in the community: This includes going to bars-note-taking and observing the environment, and the social interactions. Even my own personal interactions that I'll have with others. Friends and acquaintances. All of which play crucial roles, right?

Isn't this "WhatLife'sAbout!"?      

 

Introduction...

*pondering* 
Where do I start by introducing myself? How does one go about saying, "hello, my name is so-and-so"? Um... I think that's the very first step, "hello". Formal introductions have there purpose- its purpose is to jump start conversation. Or, perhaps formal introductions are Old World, and a bit dated. But, I guess that I am more of an older soul than most people my age. Which, leads into who I am... 
Hello, my name is Erik Thornton. A twenty-five year old, living in Chicago. To whom is 2000 miles away from any family, or friends of my high school, and middle school years. But, there's a reason why I moved to this city, that I lovingly call, "home". My friends of past are still very much involved in my life. And, my family. Well, it's family, and they still are my life-force, even if thousands miles separate us. Strangely, my family plays more of a crucial role than before. Curious, how that happens, right? I'm a self-proclaimed momma and grandma's boy. And, I own every ounce of it! Don't get it twisted.  *smiles*


Now, back to why I moved to Chicago. I've always had a deep, intense draw to BIG cities. Yes, I am from Los Angeles, but from a small town of 50,000 outside of the city limits. Seeing city centers, I have always been compelled to know what it would be like to live in one, whatever city that dream would land me. Twenty-two years elapsed, 2000 miles traveled, with three suitcases in hand, I moved to Chicago. I came here to pursue my passion. My inner-being longed for a city. That intensity, longing, and allure needed to be fulfilled. And, for the moment, that void has been filled! *giggling* The "culture", bustle, the everything-at-your-fingertips feeling that a city has is SO enthralling, and euphoric(for me). Symphonies, dance, people, advertisements, cars, buses, skyscrapers, business, potholes, etc. all of which make me smile. These are things that bring my heart joy, and to play into my title, "What Life's About" mentality. 


Friends. Um. Such an interesting subject to talk about. What purpose do friends serve? What involvement do they play, why? I can sit here, in this cafe with a cup of coffee in my right hand, while I compose this "blog" and think of how blessed I am to have the relationships that I have. The investments that have been made, thus far, are overwhelming. I strive to create these friendships. And am, on a daily basis. 


The purpose friends serve in my life incorporate a vast array of emotions. It's hard to pinpoint one emotion that I associate with one friend, because they fulfill so many. Too many to count. It's those moments, where finishing each other's sentences that make me happy in my heart! It's those moments staying up late, not paying attention to the real bad movie, and having an engaging conversation with them; sharing moments, such as those, bring tears to my eyes. It's because there is authenticity. There's a genuine feeling-mutual it is, that we share. Care. Concern.    


So, I implore you to find what purpose friends serve in your life. What feelings evoke when you spend time with them? What's there purpose? All of which are interesting, thought provoking questions, that aren't asked, or thought about frequently. And, I look to find out, as a friend. These are those moments you ask, "What Life's About"... And, I seek to find out about your life. I'll share my stories, and if you allow me, I look to find out yours in the same process. 


E.